Tickling Snape
by Aleiav aka Lola
Summary: Never tickle a man when he's already down. Rated PG for British cussword slang.


Woot! My first HP fan fic! Mostly it's been just IZ fan fics but my fan fic muse after a years paid vacation has decided to come back home, thus I am now active once more in Fan fiction, athankyou.

"Ticklish Snape"

by Aleiav, Saragh, Amanda, ect. :P

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters from the movies or books. Those are copyrighted by J.K. Rowling. I am making no money off of this. 

            Hermoine looked up from her potions book sitting in Professor Snape's class. She had studied all night, it seemes, and the day passed by so slowly for her and was lost in the words of her potions book. The rest of the students read as well, less avidly then Hermoine, chattering here and there about the usual things; Quittich, rumors, whos with who, who fought, et cetera, you know, the average kid stuff. Hermoine rolled her eyes. 

            The dungeons were filled with the sounds of young voices and Hermoine's constant hushing. Harry and Ron stumbled into Potions class, late as usual. Hermoine looked up from her potions book and gave them a dissaproving look. 

            "Good. Snape's not here", replied Ron, out of breath.

            "Well the next time you decide to try to fly my firebolt outside our dorm window from inside, try not to run into my trunk and fling my clothes everywhere. You know dorm inspections are today", replied Harry.

            "I'm sorry", said Ron, "But you have to admit, you're the only wizard in Hogwarts with teddy bear tightie whities". Ron laughed loudly, and so did a group of nearby Slytherins.

            "Bloody hell, RON!!" screamed Harry, standing up and slamming his wand onto the desk.

            "Shhhhhh!!!" hushed Hermoine.

            Harry sat down and he and Ron sunk low into their potions books.

            "That is not funny", whispered Harry angrily.

            "If you two don't be quiet…", Hermoine threatened angrily, touching her wand.

            "Bloody hell", said Ron, "What's she going on about now?"

            "Did you two not know?" Hermoine questioned.

            "Know what?" asked Ron, biting the head off of a choclate frog.

            "Ron, you're not supposed to eat in Potions class", warned Harry, interjecting Hermoine.

            "And Snape's not here to stop me, is he?" replied Ron with his mouth full.

            "You bloody idiots, we have a major exam today!" cried Harmoine

            Ron gulped loudly.

            "_What??_" whispered Harry.

            "Snape told us that yesterday. Don't you remember? … Oh, of course you don't, that's right. You two were too busy trying to enchant Malfoy's hair to turn green and stand on it's end", replied Hermoine, shaking her head.

            Ron bit the head off of another choclate frog and smiled, "But it was wicked fun", he said.

            "Ron, could you possibly stop eating in Potions class?" Hermoine asked.

            Ron began to open another choclate frog and with his mouth full, he replied, "And I suppose a big bloody nerd like you is going to stop-"

            Suddenly, Snape entered the classroom in his usual way, kicking the door in with a loud bang, running to the frount of the class and beginning to dicipline. The sound of Snape startled Ron, and he dropped his half opened choclate frog box on the ground, swalling the contents in his mouth with a loud gulp, nearly choking. 

            "Today's exam…" Snape said low and slowly, "… is postponed to next week-"

            Hermoine gave a half audible squeak of protest and Snape looked up slightly. Hermoine hushed herself, looking normal again.

            As Snape rambled about the inadequacy of the class in their Potion work, below Harry and Ron's table the choclate frog crawled out of it's box.

            "Oh no Harry!" whispered Ron.

            "What?" asked Harry.

            "The frog… it's out"

            "Don't worry, it's only got one good jump in it, remember"

            Ron shook his head.

            "Not when you buy them from Fred and George"

            Harry's eyes went wide and he titled his chair back to have a look at the choclate frog box.

            "I opened the wrong one", Ron said painfully, "Snape startled me when he came in… I'm dead Harry".

            Harry looked at the box. On it read: Weasley's Famous Fickle Fast Flipping Frogs: Catchem if ya can!

            Harry gasped and retracted with fear, loosing balance in his tilted chair and falling backwards on the floor in his chair, while the choclate frog hopped closer to Snape, running away from the loud noise Harry made.

            "Mister Potter!! Do you possibly think we could go through an entire potions class without you attracting more attention to yourself than usual?!" Snape ranted, unaware of the impending choclate surprise.

            "I-I I'm sorry Professor", Harry apologized, pulling himself up and sitting down sloppily again.

            "Regardless of your apology, Potter, it becomes relevant that you continue to be a disturbance in my potions class… 5 points from Gryffindor", shot Snape.

            Harry looked down, grinding his teeth. The Slytherins smiled as Ron remained with a frigtened, wide-eyed look on his face, watching the frog simultaneously. The frog hopped on Snape's robes and began inching close to him. No one saw because students in Snapes last Potions class of the day were frightened of him because he spent the day stewing in annoyance, they were too busy in their own thoughts, or studying avidly like Hermoine. 

            "Do I frighten you, Weasley?" asked Snape in his sarcastic, annoyed tone.

            At the mention of his name and the dissapearence of the frog under Snape's robes, Ron's eyes widened more than before, if humanly possible.

            "N-n-n-no P-p-p-prof-f-fess-s-s-sor-"

            "Were you going to finish that sentence today, Weasley?" interrupted Snape.

            The nearby Slytherins laughed.

            "W-w-well I-I-I", stumbled Ron.

            He stopped, shocked. Snape was… smiling!! Professor Severus "Snivellus" Snape, Potions Master, and Head of the Slytherin House was… smiling!! Snape emitted a puff of air fiest, and then bursted out in an outrageous fit of giggling, more similar to a girl giggle than a man's hearty laugh. He jammed his elbows into his stomach and held his chest, later switching to merely holding his stomach in, slappying his knees hard voluntarily, and still giggling hysterically.

            Harry and Ron didn't know whether to laugh or scream, Hermoine was insulted, and the rest of the Potions class began to giggle, first into their books or arms, shoulders shaking; but the first years ignorantly giggled loudly with their hands covering there mouths, slapping their knees and desks as well, like a pack of rabid hyenas. Snape continued to move in a seziuric fashion, still giggling madly.

            "I-I-I… I think Snape's gone mad", said Hermoine dripping ink on her 3 foot parchment roll of study notes, horrified.

            Ron and Harry looked at eachoter with frist as Snape continued to giggle madly. Neville, laughing in the frount row, lost control of his slimy toad Trevor, who hopped on his desk and began to croak. Neville doubled up in laughter, giggling and laughing worse and harder than Snape, mostly because he feared Snape so much. My god, he thought, this was even better than the Patronus.

            Outside the classroom, McGonagall, coming to fetch a reverse toad transfiguration potion for a first year who had turned her boyfriend into a toad with a potent spell from the restricted section of the library, heard the loud mass of laugheter outside and grew angry. It's not like Professor Snape to leave his students unattended, she though. She burst into the door, saw the scene, and cried, "What is going on here!!" shrill and angry.

            The students quieted at once and Snape remained giggling and ceased slowly after the frog jumped from beaneath his robes and onto Neville's table. Neville cowered from Snape, sure to burst, but his fat smelly toad, Trevor, leaped near the frog. The air seemed still and silent as Trevor shot out his long slimy tounge atop the choclate frog's back and pulling it quickly into his large mouth, swallowing loudly and visually.

            Draco Malfoy was the first to show extreme disgust, followed by the rest of the class, save Ron who was petrified, and Harry, plainly shocked.

The students all cried, "Eeeewwww!!". 

Even Snape and McGonagall looked liked they might toss their cookies, Neville turned green, and Hermoine put her hand delicately to her chest, looked slightly away, and replied, "I think I'm going to be sick".

            Ron and Harry looked at eachoter again, slightly disgusted but overall ambivalent, not knowing what emotion to express. 

            McGonagall, recoverng from shock, replied breathily, "Professor Snape… What on earth is going on here?", quietly than before.

            Snape, still panting from his giggle fit, grew angry. His face twisted with fury as he rose from his bent over state, raising his pointed finger, breathing heavily and angrily yelled, "Weas-LEY!!!"

Ron gulped.

Lesson of Today: Never tickle a man when he's already down.


End file.
